Hope he’s good with kids!

On Sunday, Hubs wanted to sleep in. Fine, no biggie. But we have a three year old who has zero sense of the phrase “volume control.” So I decided to make the morning into a little treat for us all. I took Tot out to grab donuts from Dunkin Donuts, giving us some fun time together, Hubs some quiet to sleep, and everyone a delightfully carb-loaded, sugar-laden breakfast that will take us months to burn off. Win-win, right?

At one point, I got a text from Hubs. And this is how it went…

Hubs: Where’d you go?

Me: Go? What do you mean?

Hubs: I woke up and you and Tot were gone.

Me: Oh, right. Yes, well, I didn’t want to have to do this via text, but I’m leaving you.

Hubs: For breakfast?

Me: Forever. I’m running away with my lover, Kemal Pamuk. Sorry to break the news so impersonally but you leave me no choice.

Hubs: Your lover is foreign?

Me: A Turkish diplomat, in fact.

Hubs: You couldn’t have found an American lover?

Me: Saying my lover’s name is Hank Smith just doesn’t have the same illicit ring to it.

Hubs: Your loss. Hope he’s good with kids, since you took Tot with you.

Me: I’ll need you to stand by in case things go bad and I need a fall back man.

Hubs: Long as you bring me breakfast, all is forgiven.


Our marriage is a well-oiled machine…that sometimes wobbles on its wheels.


Email me the name of the show where I got my “lover” from using the contact form and I’ll choose one reader to win a signed copy of The Officer Says “I Do”! (US and Canada only please, sorry…I’m not a millionaire yet and as such I cannot afford the international postage!) Please put “TURKISH LOVER” in the subject line. Partly to make it easy for me to find, and partly because I think it’s funny to have an inbox full of emails about a Turkish lover. (Take THAT, Hubs!) Contest ends Friday the 13th at 11:59pm Eastern. Winner posted on the blog Saturday, July 14th so check back!

1 Comment

  1. Shannon Owens

    July 12th, 2012 - 6:36 pm

    This sounds like me and my honey,except my guy is “Pablo”, then when I went on a cruise with my BFF, to Mexico I actually met a really cute guy named Pablo and had my picture taken with him and emailed it to my husband that I decided to stay in Mexico, he said I forgot two things….our sons! It’s great when you can have that kind of relationship!!

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