Me: You were supposed to come out here an hour ago to watch TV with me.
Hubs: You should have come check with me. If you want to watch this, you should clearly state that’s what you want to do. Clear communication is the best kind.
Me: Clear communication is the best kind? What crap is that?
Hubs: I’m sorry you feel that way. Can you explain?
Me: No, I don’t want to. You just need to know that was really stupid. Now I want donuts. *stares pointedly*
Hubs: This is not productive. Instead of saying that, perhaps you could say…
Me: I’d rather have a Little Debbie snack cake?
Hubs: *sigh* No. You should have said “I would like you to get donuts, please.”
Me: Why should I have to say what I mean? We’re married.
Hubs: That’s effective communication.
Me: I really hate the weeks when you have self-improvement classes at work.
Me: Maybe I just win more arguments when you don’t take these stupid courses.
Hubs: You admitted you lost. Why are you smiling?
Me: It proves we are just fine together naturally. So we should stop trying to improve upon perfection. There’s nowhere to go but down. We should stay where we are.
Hubs: No. That’s not what it means.
Me: If your instructors told you that, they were just trying to sell you something. Like knowledge. Run.
Hubs: I like using my brain.
Me: I liked you better when you were just pretty.